Over the years, I've had a number of memorable conversations about pretty much nothing. A few of them have been floating around in my head lately, so I thought I'd share them; I'm afraid that if I don't, I'll forget them altogether. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
Several months ago, I went into the public library near where I work. One of the attorneys from our office happened to be in there, standing at the checkout desk with a pile of materials. So being the smart-a$$ that I am, I rushed to his side and said, "I didn't know you could read." He and the librarian both looked at me and said, "Oh, these are books on tape."
Another attorney in our office--one for whom I actually work--once sent me an e-mail wherein he misspelled my name. In his message he asked me to have his estate planning file sent to him. I made the request for him, and then went into his office and teasingly said, "I hope that when you revise your will, you spell my name correctly." He replied, "Did I spell your name wrong in my will?"
Recently, the son and daughter-in-law of one of our senior partners (why do these stories seem to center on lawyers?) brought their four-month-old daughter into the office to visit Grandpa. Naturally, everyone in the office oohed and aahed and admired this truly beautiful baby. Later, her grandfather stopped by my desk and asked, "Who has the most beautiful granddaughter in the world?" I turned to him, smiled sweetly and said, "My grandparents."
Years ago, a young lady I worked with was planning her wedding. Like most brides, she regaled her co-workers with details of the upcoming event, and like most women, we all loved it. One day she made the comment that she really likes the song "Ave Maria" and wanted to have it sung at her wedding, but her mother flatly refused to let this happen. I said, "Why not? My sister had that sung at her wedding, and she's not Catholic." To which my co-worker responded, "Yeah, but I bet she's not Jewish, either."
When I was a kid, my granddad had a pickup truck with a camper shell on it--not one of those over-the-cab campers, just a shell that covered the bed of the truck. My sisters and I used to ride in there whenever we went anywhere. One time when we went out to dinner or someplace, we stopped and my sister BB went to open the door so we could get out. At the same time, my grandfather opened the door from the outside, and BB nearly fell flat on her face. My granddad said, "Don't hurt yourself, there." BB replied, "NOW you tell me."
I once asked my grandfather how you could tell when your gas tank was getting full as you pumped. He said, "When it starts making a gurgling sound, you know you're almost done." BB stared at him incredulously and added, "Or, when it runs over and spills on your shoes."
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2 comments:
These are hilarious, Mel! Hey, I say if you can bring a little levity into the legal field, you must be doing something right!
My personal favorite was the "Ave Maria" story. Not my finest moment, but truly funny. And the judge at the library--oh, man, when they both said "these are books on tape," I nearly laughed out loud. (I did tell him that apparently I was right.)
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