Lessons from my very own unique, singular school of thought

Before you read any further, let me just say a thing or two or three in my own defense. First, the opinions expressed in this essay are strictly my own, and they are just that: opinions. I get to have them whether anyone agrees with them or not. Second, as a former teacher, I have maybe just a teensy bit of knowledge about this subject, so I'd appreciate it if no one told me I have no idea what I'm talking about. Third, as a parent, see "second." Fourth (okay, four things), I'm pretty sure I'm about to tick some people off, but I don't really care, because I was ticked off first. So there.

Let's begin with a commercial His Nibs and I saw on TV recently. It concerned something like the Outstanding Teacher Award for the state we live in, and in this particular ad was featured a man who had been honored as the "Principle of the Year."

Principle?

I realize I'm a spelling freak, but I can't help it. Torrance County, NM spelling champion in the eighth grade, thank you very much. Misspelled words hurt my eyes. Even worse are homonyms that are spelled correctly but used improperly. Am I really the only one who remembers the adage regarding "principle" and "principal"? A principal I had in grade school suggested that we remember "the principal is your pal." Maybe so, maybe not, but by golly, I remember it!

And it's not even so much the fact that "principle" was misused in this ad. It's the fact that these ads congratulate educators! Call me crazy or maybe fanatical or overly demanding, but I want my kids' teachers to be able to use the English language properly.

I taught history and French, myself. I couldn't have told any of my students one blessed thing about chemistry or Spanish or algebra (and my apologies to my teachers thereof, but we can't all be all things), but in my classes, spelling counted--especially the spelling of things I had written on the blackboard. It irritates me that my kids' teachers can't seem to write sentences that make any sense, and they don't seem to know very much about the nuts and bolts of writing, either: punctuation and spelling, to be more specific. And how about looking up words they don't know?

For instance, Daredevil's science teacher, who made it abundantly clear that he was nothing but a problem for her, once sent me an e-mail accusing Daredevil of making "hand jesters" in her class. Hand jesters. What does that mean? Was he wasting class time creating little clown puppets to share with his friends? Perhaps. Or did she mean hand gestures? That's my guess, although when I asked her about the puppets I never did get an answer. I only hope she knows a lot more about science than she does about English.

My point is that I hear teachers whine and complain about how little money they make and how much work they have to do and all the kids who are disruptive and the unsupportive parents and on and on and on. Hmm. I did a little research recently. Let's take a look at some of the things I learned, shall we? According to the state teachers association, the average teacher salary in my state in 2006 was $44,025 (which is more than I earn doing what I do now); the average salary for new teachers was $23,000. I made half that when I started teaching. I'm not seeing a huge improvement in my children's education as a result of this increase in salary. Which is not to say that I don't think good teachers should be well compensated, but I do think money is far from being the answer. One of my education teachers warned us that if we were going into this for the money, we'd better find another line of work, because teaching isn't lucrative. Well, well.

And another thing. How many days off from school do my kids need? In my teaching days, we had "prep periods," which were to be used to prepare lesson plans, grade papers, calculate grades, etc. If we ran out of time during the "prep periods," we did it on our own time. Our students didn't get innumerable four-day weekends so we could prepare end-of-term stuff. You wouldn't believe the amount of money I lost due to this nonsense when my kids were younger, what with having to take time off work or hire a sitter.

So we threw more money at the problem, and now we have teachers who can't write. We have teachers who do their utmost to expel "problem" students from their classes--probably the very kids who need those teachers most. We have teachers who have no control over their classrooms (which is probably not entirely their fault--we can likely thank the ACLU for that one). We have teachers who have zero interest in academics and who openly admit to their students that the only reason they are teaching is that it gives them the opportunity to coach a sport. (Drama Princess faces such a teacher daily. Guess how interested she is in that class?)

We also have teachers, good and bad, who have far too many kids in a class. How do you address the educational needs of each kid when you have 50 minutes to impart valuable knowledge to 25 or 30 students? I have a kid who doesn't do well in a big class. I'm pretty sure he's not alone in that. We have teachers who are pressed to raise test scores however they can do it, so the districts can get more money. We have teachers who are exhausted and overwhelmed by all the demands on them, and who labor under the delusion that higher salaries will help. It won't. It will only make them higher-paid teachers who are exhausted and overwhelmed.

So what is the solution? I'm not sure I know (HA! And you thought I thought I had all the answers!). I'd start by reminding teachers that they work in a field that is markedly different from any other. They don't have a regular 9-to-5 gig. They have boatloads of days off (yes, they do; I don't want to hear how there are no paid vacations. I don't get to take the whole summer off and still get a paycheck). One simply cannot apply the same principles of work to teaching that one would to, say, practicing law or working in a factory or making sales calls. It's just not the same. Yes, it's a harder job, but they knew that going into it--or they should have. Teaching is in a class all by itself, no pun intended.

And because teachers are in the unique position of sharing their own knowledge and education and experience with children, helping to mold their minds and, one would hope, to teach them how to think, it's incumbent on teachers to be able to communicate effectively with their students and with parents. And when they come off as ignorant (hand jesters, indeed) or unable to express thoughts clearly, they leave the impression that they're not really qualified to teach. Is it any wonder that we are losing ground in global competition?

I'm not perfect; I'm guilty of the occasional typo. Sometimes I question which is correct: "affect" or "effect"? That's what dictionaries are for. And to those people who were singing the praises of the "Principle of the Year," shame on you. Spell check isn't always available, and it isn't always applicable. Do your research. Look things up. It's presumably what you would expect from your students. As a teacher, I expected more than mediocrity from my students. As a parent, I expect excellence from my children's teachers. I don't think it's too much to ask.